The following narrative is a work of fiction.

They sit at their desk in their home office, bewildered and silent. They consider what to do next. A YouTube video plays on the computer, largely ignored, as they sit and think.

The roof needs to be fixed. It's old, and if there's a prayer of selling the house so that they can move somewhere nicer, it will likely need to be replaced. Dealing with the roof repair contractor who answered the door a few weeks ago has been tedious. The promises made that they'd fix it up with the homeowner's insurance company and that it wouldn't be a massive financial burden hasn't been kept, yet. The insurance company insists they will not cooperate. The contractor is still adamant that they'll be able to replace the roof under insurance. Privately, it seems doubtful.

There's unfinished woodworking projects in the upstairs bathroom. The baseboard trim needs to be replaced, and the seams re-caulked. They have no concrete idea how to work with wood, despite having purchased all the tools that their internet research so far has directed them to do. Every time they've worked with wood, there have been small errors that has made the finished job slightly unsatisfactory. No idea how to anticipate them and avoid them, though. They'll have to think about it more and get back to it later.

Work is starting to become burdensome. The manic directive to adopt AI tools and integrate AI workflows and create AI agents and enhance productivity with AI might sound great to some in a team meeting, but the more they consider it, the more they realize that they don't really agree with AI as a precept. Sure, as a tool, it can help do things in minutes that would otherwise take hours, maybe days, and avoids having to research HOW to do something for hours before even starting. But isn't that the point? They firmly believe in deliberately enriching their own life by trying to learn new things, by going through the process, hard as it may be. Sure, there have been frustrating times where shitty information or unclear instructions have led them to give up. Even in those situations, something was learned. But what now with AI? Let some massive machine algorithm owned by a billionaire, who has soaked up the work of a more talented person, now simply accomplish the task and remove all hardship?

And what about the state of technology in general? It seems to them that corporations, especially tech corps, are in an almighty arms race to make as much money as possible, with little-to-no regard to the cost to society, human social interactions, or humanitarian ethics. And good luck reigning it in, the current government is right in bed with the corporations. Make a buck, on the backs of whoever, let the blood and the burning planet be damned. They'll be rich, and soon they'll be dead, and the riches will just pass to their current cronies, who will take their place. Every political move is made with the aim of lining their own pockets and those of their sycophants. Detractors are labeled socialists and that seems to be enough to keep their political movement relevant. It's depressing. What on earth does a mere individual do to try to improve that? The thought of trying to commit more time to any sort of reformation movement is exhausting, and privately, they suspect, that is all the more to the plan of the current regime.

What does it even look like for them in 20 years? They don't have any kids, and will never have biological children. They've talked with their spouse about adopting, and it seems both are inclined towards the idea, but right after thinking about politics and the state of the world, it's just as exhausting as it was a moment ago. Taking in anyone and trying to be a force for good in their life is a giant time commitment. Wouldn't they owe it to that hypothetical young person to be there for them? Is that even a responsible thing to do?

They worry about their libido. There's always been a mismatch between them and their spouse, and surely that sort of thing is common. But it's led to mistakes already. Apologies were made, agreements were reached, and life carried on. But the sexual urges and their strength carry on. Who do they talk to about THAT? They've seen therapists in the past, but that was for couples therapy. It was beneficial, and has shaped much of their relationship as it's grown, but has still not really addressed how on earth to LIVE with the disparity in sexual drive.

Who do they even turn to for help with any of this? For the things that need fixing around the house, it seems like the likely outcomes of asking for paid help are to be extorted, to be ghosted, or to deal with someone who does a terrible job (certainly a job that they feel they could have done better if they learned the fundamentals). For the rest....

Family is out of the question, the worldviews between them and their family are too different. They consider their friends. There are no friends locally, all of their friends exist through the internet, except for the occasional times that they meet to simply have fun hanging out. How do you have an interpersonal conversation to effectively communicate the need for help, and be taken seriously? They love their friends dearly, but still, they have doubts that any of their friends could connect with them on the level they need help, and besides, asking that of them is too much, and in a specific case, too intimate.

Glumly, they believe that nobody else is in the headspace to assist them with their problems. It would require patience, gentleness, and openness, and nobody is prepared to offer those things at all times.

They hear their spouse shout from the other room that the grass needs to be cut, and that they have already asked them to do it three times and it still hasn't been done. They can hear the anger and exasperation at the correctly perceived procrastination. Their internally voiced belief from a moment ago about nobody being in the headspace to listen and offer help is reinforced. They reply to their spouse saying they are sorry it's taking them so long, and it will be done before the end of the day.

Then, they sit at their desk in their home office, bewildered and silent. They consider what to do next. A YouTube video plays on the computer, largely ignored, as they sit and think.